PC

PC, the Poor Cynick is a recently appointed baron of Plort. He no longer wields a sword.

The Arrival
One would have not thought much of the man known as PC upon his arrival in the city of Borrd. He was just another wide-eyed wanderer from Tivit with a head full of preconceptions and a belly full of snark-fire. A follower of both the Great God Pterry and the Scientific Theatre of Three Thousand Mysteries, he had dreams of leading men and women into battle against Marizu and all their associated ilk. He would descend upon his opponents with a sword made of mockery in the style of the saint Mike and Joel.

PC was eventually granted a knighthood after much training and patience. He did not rest on his laurels long, instead launching himself into a series of battles against the Marizu. His most famous victory came against the Marizu leader known as Chizzstake, who was so persistent in his attacks it took two battles to finish the fiend off properly. PC reveled in it.

Those days did not last. After several protracted campaigns against the Marizu, PC found himself tiring of the same old warfare. The reports from other knights no longer compelled him in the same way. He saw no lessons being learned from their conflicts. That, combined with the border conflicts between Borrd and Iric (both places he called home), eventually led to one fateful day. On that day, PC marched into the halls of government, threw down his sword, and announced that he would leave Konti-Nyuum.

No one quite knew where he went after that. Some say he wandered the world as a freelance man-at-arms, offering his services to random fiefdoms. Some say he went mad penning random treatises that no one read. A few even whispered that he had ventured to the distant and dangerous lands of Yu'Tub in order to carve out a barony for himself.

In any event, PC did eventually return (the snark-fires within are not so easily dimmed). But the PC that came back was not the same one who left. His armor was gone, replaced with robes of black and grey. He sought not more battles, but instead to educate and train the new knights (and maybe even a few barons). The stories he tells now are not of warfare and the Marizu, but of personal drama and partnerships made strong.

PC wanders vagabond-like between the realms of Borrd, Wechi, and Iric. He has no fief of his own. That might change, however. Those he speaks to claim he aspires to a grand fortress and school called Worhkshap, where he can educate the warriors and barons of tomorrow.” This desire has since come true; Sir PC was created a Baron of Plort, and has raised Worhkshap in the land of Borrd.

The Return
There had been rumors floating around that he had sailed into Mei’n Payj one cold and misty morning. The ship was bound from Yu’Tub, people would murmur to their fellows in the taverns and shops, and was festooned with unfamiliar banners celebrating a “Tyrant of Tablets.” The man in black robes was the only person standing on the deck, but it still sailed under some unseen power. And when he stepped off the boat and vanished into the alleyways of the city? It vanished into thin air.

Others swore to Kanun that they had seen him wandering the backroads of Borrd (or Iric, or Wechi – the location seemed to change with every new telling). They told of how he would walk with travellers for a while, sharing the ancient secrets of Beytah and telling tales of battles against the Marizu with them before turning away down some new twist in the path. Attempts to follow him always failed for one reason or another.

Their description was always the same. He was tall, with heavy boots that somehow managed not to leave prints in the dirt. Any details of his face or body were hidden by his black hooded robes. An empty scabbard hung from the belt cinched around his waist.

Nobody really thought too much of the stories until one day, when the man in black robes appeared in Manyuel, in the very heart of Wechi. An archivist found him standing before a collection of old weapons from knights long past.

“Can I help you, good sir?” the archivist asked.

The man did not reply at first. It was only when the archivist asked again did he slightly turn his head. “The sword and shield of Sir PC, the Poor Cynick,” he said. “The ones he discarded upon his departure. I trust you have them?”

“Of course! Was there a specific reason you wanted to see them?”

The man pushed back his hood, revealing a familiar face.

“To reclaim them,” the Poor Cynick said.

Other Tales of Baron PC

 * The Tale of the Election of Four Barons

Lauralin/the Blade of Dukes, and the shield Rikkard’s Son
The Poor Cynick’s first weapons, and the ones in his armory that have seen the most battles. Unfortunately, they broke when he cast them down before the barons on his departure. When he returned and reclaimed them, he reforged Lauralin into the Blade of Dukes. Its grey steel blade was replaced with one that was much stronger, but a dull red in color. Rikkard’s Son was not repaired, however. He now bears it on his back wherever he goes – whether as penance or a reminder, he has not said.

Xericka, the Dark Dagger and Gremlyn, the Lightning Dagger
In the wake of his first battle, where he slew the Sisters of Nothingness, the Poor Cynick recovered a dagger from the field. Its blade was almost completely black apart from silver filigree etchings. He paired it with another dagger he crafted himself out of thunderbolt iron. He called the pair Xericka and Gremlyn, and bore them into battle whenever there was a need to fight off Marizu lust-spirits.

Racalendaris
Racalendaris is a great maul, a two-handed hammer that the Poor Cynick has on occasion taken into battle. It is not a subtle weapon, but seems to be one that brings the knight no small amount of glee whenever he uses it.

The Scrying Stone of Kharnelius
A most mysterious artifact, the Poor Cynick can allegedly use this stone to peer into other worlds. It has even been rumored that he can use the stone to step into those worlds, but that has never been proven.

The Man of Pitt’s Bow
The Man of Pitt’s Bow is a weapon the Poor Cynick brought with him when he returned from his self-imposed exile. He has not told anyone how he got it or who the Man of Pitt is, although evidence suggests that he was a well-experienced soldiers. It is not yet known if he has ever used it in anger.